


Yea, We’re Gay! Keep Scrolling!

by AshidoMyBurritos



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Ash Lynx Lives, Attempt at Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, M/M, Memes, Self-Indulgent, Sexual Tension, because Shorter is alive and ash lives 🤠, references, slight AU, this may seem OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:34:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27911575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshidoMyBurritos/pseuds/AshidoMyBurritos
Summary: Specific scenarios of the crew (Ash, Eiji, and Shorter) reacting by making reference of memes.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji/Shorter Wong, Ash Lynx/Shorter Wong, Okumura Eiji/Shorter Wong
Comments: 3
Kudos: 74





	Yea, We’re Gay! Keep Scrolling!

**Author's Note:**

> Bruh I remember first watching Banana Fish about a year ago, enjoying the hell out of it. Then I spoiled myself on tumble about the ending and dropped it because I know I’ll be sad asf. But now the dumb bitch that I am is watching it and close to the end.
> 
> I just need this to cope cause my boy Ash deserve so much, but I also want to throw hands (and get my ass beat) for him not calling the ambulance 😔
> 
> Warning for slight triggering moments when Arthur is mentioned the second time.

Ash just made it back after destroying Dino’s mansion to the gang. Shorter was placed on the couch to be checked and bandaged by Eiji. Ash walked away from the worry over Shorter to sit on the bed, back straight on the wall, legs crossed and hands intertwined in his lap as he stared at nothing. 

The gang started to get worried as he stayed in the position for over two minutes, but they’ll be damned if they get bitch-stabbed for bothering him. There are only two people who have the confidence and balls to be bold with Ash. Shorter, because that’s his homie with the bromance they’ve never seen, and the cute twink Eiji that everyone knows Shorter and Ash have a major crush on. They’re sure everyone does.

With Shorter out of the picture, they silently urged Eiji to handle Ash, sending him worried looks at the Japanese and American man back and forth. 

Eiji didn’t need to be told twice and walked over to ask his quiet friend what was wrong. Now, Ash doesn’t often blow a gasket. He keeps his emotions to himself, sealed and locked away unless he’s in private with Shorter and Eiji. But there are moments when their boss would let it out, in the most Gen Z way they ever saw. 

“Bro, Dino and Arthur can suck my fucking ass dude. I’m fucking tired of those bastards getting on my dick like what the fuck can I just fucking breathe for once. They dared to use you and Shorter. Ugh, I hate men. Also, fuck the justice system can’t trust shit in this ashy ass country. I’m so fucking irked, at least irked adjacent, and then dudes are bringing their bad vibes,”

He stared into Eiji’s soul while holding up two peace signs and shaking them horizontally while saying,

“Bro, I’m straight up not having a good time.” 

Silence. Then a raspy voice coming from Shorter, 

“It be like that sometimes.” 

“Word, my guy.”

~~

Eiji, the beautiful innocent man, was drastically getting consumed by their culture. Violence? Yes. Kidnapping and sex trafficking? Yes. Actually fucking having a tiktok and Instagram to look at memes and won’t stop making references? Yes. No one can blame anyone but Shorter and Sing for making Eiji’s account and showing him past vines. He’s become an exotic angel with a nice set of followers, much to Ash’s disapproval and Shorter’s regret.

They walked into a holy sight; the leaders choking on their spit at the man. Eiji dressed in nothing but booty shorts and a tight crop top with the words ‘Bubblegum Bitch’. He stood in front of the phone in a deep tangent, for not hearing the footsteps enter the apartment.

“I beg your pardon? I beg your pardon? I know this country American bumpkin who looks dirty in all of his pictures didn’t say something. I might not speak English correctly, but I at least know more than one language you dirty prick. Your grammar looks like shit, and I won’t be surprised if you do smell like shit. 

You’re saying I look gay. That’s a compliment because I look great in these clothes.” He must have been hanging out with Yut-Lung too much, as he shamefully touched his toes in front of the camera, shorts almost rising to show a bit more of his nice cheeks. One of the gang members fainted while the rest blushed madly.

Eiji straightened up to cock his right hip out, a peace sign and mocking duck lips. 

“Jealousy is a disease bitch. ✨Get Well Soon✨.” And Eiji stopped the record, turning to see them all gawking at him. Oblivious as can be, he cheerfully walked after the screeching Ash, who is running away from him like a startled cat.

“Why are you running? Why are you running?”

“God, we created a monster.” Shorter whispered out loud. 

Sing huffed. “I have no regrets. This is entertaining to watch you two dorks crushing on him.” 

“Uhm, I’m pretty sure we ALL have a crush on him.” 

“Touché.”

~~

“Eiji, had you ever taken an Uber?”

“Uhm, I never went to Oovoo Javer.” 

Ash banged his head on the table.

~~

“I don’t need friends. They disappoint me.” Ash stood there, then posed. Shorter and Eiji sent him a betrayed look. 

~~

During all this chaos, Bones decided that education might just be important and was working on a math problem for the past ten minutes. 

He sighed and looked up when Shorter questioned him. 

“This question is kicking my ass.” Shorter bent over to look at the paper with bullshit numbers, equations, and the fucking alphabet. Fuck math. 

“What are you having trouble with?” Bones pointed at number two. 

“Dude, what is two plus two?”

“I don’t know.”

“Bones...what is two...plus...two?” He held up two fingers, then added another two. Bones stared at the slender fingers then shrugged.

“Beats me.”

“BONES! IF EIJI HAVE TWO BOTTLES OF DISH SOAP, AND I GIVE HIM TWO MORE AND A KISS ON THE LIPS! HOW MUCH IS IT?”

“WHY DOES EIJI NEED SO MUCH SOAP? YOU TELL ME SHORTER! WHAT’S TWO PLUS TWO?” 

.

.

.

Shorter was frozen, staring at the wall in a midlife crisis. Shit man when was the last time he was at school? Who knows if this shitty country and town changed their education curriculum. Every few years they come up with new bullshit that’ll give any parent a migraine. 

“EIJI, COME HERE!” 

“BOOM! Hi guys!” Shorter stared at the sweatpants hugging onto Eiji’s body. Damn, it sure is sweatpants season, and Shorter is a lucky man. Eiji smirked at him. Shorter isn’t sure if that smile meant more than what it should be.

Bones were too distracted to notice the flaming hormones and pushed the crinkled paper in Eiji’s hands.

“Math.” They watched Eiji glance over the paper then look up.

“What’s two plus two? I don’t know.”

“ASH!” 

“The bad bitch has arrived. The fuck you want?” They handed him the paper.

“Dude I made this shit for you.” 

“No wonder I saw all those damn letters. Dude, you might be a big brain, but we’re quite smooth.” They waited on the genius of a man to answer. The man with a subpar IQ close to Albert Einstein. A born prodigy and talented man that everyone admires, and Shorter and Eiji want to make him beam happiness. 

“It’s obviously fucking five, dipshits.” He grabbed Eiji’s hand and walked off, a shit-eating grin on his face as Bones screamed at his big brain. That boy would never know what’s two plus two. 

~~ 

The gangs stopped as they watched Shorter and Ash appear in the bar. Shorter carrying a guitar while shirtless, and Ash looking close to causing hell. They grew silent as they watched the two walk up to Eiji, wearing subtle clothing for once much to Yut-Lung’s dismay. 

**Struuummm**

“I love you bitch.” The others gaped while a few laughed at the reference. Eiji giggled at Ash.

**Struuuuumm**

“I ain’t neva gonna stop loving you….bitch.”

Eiji looked at Yut-Lung.

“Wow, that was legitness.”

“Shut up before I kill everyone and then myself.” 

“Bold of you to assume you can kill me. I have god and anime on my side.”

“While you fools have been homoerotic, I’ve been studying the Chinese blade.” They eyed Sing. Sing never felt so judged in his life.

~~

They’re playing Among Us, and Ash is the imposter. Finally, after so many fucking rounds being crewmate and still being yeeted for being sus (“That’s weird...that’s suspicious.”), he finally got the role. He has a lot of pettiness and anger to release, and Yut-Lung is his first victim. He cracked his neck in medbay then vented, showing up in electrical, and smirking at the feminine scream Yut-Lung let out. Great, one down, seven to go, until Eiji pushed the button.

“Guys, how do you vent? I just saw Ash, and his name is red.”

“I— Eiji, my sweet sweet angel. My cherry on top, the sunshine to my dark and cold world. You did this… for what?”

“Why not?”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

“Why though…”

“ **Revenge** .” 

Ash trembled as the crew laughed at the scenario and yeeted both of them out. He shot Eiji the middle fingers; Eiji staring at them with glazed eyes and a teasing look on his face. Ash knows that look, but he’ll remain ✨ignorant✨.

~~

The gangs were getting ready to start chaos to save the legendary Lynx from the mental hospital. There’s no damn way he all of a sudden died. Those bastards are doing something to their boss. Shorter felt his phone vibrate, and the sight made him snort. 

He showed his peers his phone. A picture was sent from Ash. He’s staring dead at the camera, dressed in a nurse costume, middle finger in view and tongue stuck out. They can see Ibe and Max at the back of what looks like an ambulance. 

“I’m alive, bitches. Had to save these fucking losers. Tired of being the bone-weight and carrying this team. Gonna have back problems at eighteen 🙄.” 

The one and only could escape a security tight mental hospital and save old men while being seductive and intimidating at the same time. No one said anything when Shorter saved the picture and put it as his home screen wallpaper, Eiji as his lock screen. Those three are so fucking whipped. 

~~

“Dude, I had a dream that we all fucked.”

Eiji, “Oh?”

“Bro it’s just a dream.” Ash.

Shorter sweated, “Ha gay, I wouldn’t fuck you guys.”

Ash and Eiji looked saddened. Eiji was the one asking, “You wouldn’t?” With the saddest tone, Shorter ever heard from him. 

“I mean unless you want to.” He shyly poked the tips of his index fingers together. 

~~

The camera zoomed in on three dudes in a hot tub. They’re huddled up together like they were in the arctic searching for any type of warmth.

“Three bros, chilling in the hot tub. They’re not feet apart, and they’re so gay!”

~~

Ash appeared behind Dino before anyone could react.

“I hate ya cut, G.”

**SMACK**

They arrived back at their hangout, majority wheezing at Dino’s shiny egg-headed bald head ass wobbling like a bobblehead. Shorter had Ash in a bone-crushing hug as he laughed and expressed his love for the boy. Ash wasn’t sure if it was a confession or not, but he slightly hoped it was.

~~ 

The tiktok started by showing Sing’s face as he talked. “Guys, guess what.” He switched the camera, zooming in on a tangle of humans. Ash, Eiji, and Shorter smushed together on one seat. 

“I found the impossible. The make-believe. I found three pretty best friends. Three pretty gay best friends as a matter of fact. Some world we live in. Wild.”

~~

Shorter has everyone settled neatly in the bar as he stood in front of a podium board, fiddling around with the laptop hooked up to it. How the hell he got that shit hooked up in the bar was beyond them. 

“Hello. Thank you guys for coming. I am here to present…” the PowerPoint appeared. The title says,

**Why Ash, Eiji, and I will be the ultimate power couple.** With a picture of the three of them t-posing. 

The members glanced at Eiji and Ash. They seemed...intrigued. 

The slide changed to bullet points about Shorter.

“Starting with me. I mean, what’s not to like about me? Eiji, what do you like about me?” 

Eiji jumped at the sudden question. “Uhm, I enjoy your personality and how much of a good leader you are to your gang and best friend to Ash.” 

“I could kiss your cute baby face. Ash, what do you like about me?”

“Your bara tiddies.” No one expected that. The silence continued and Ash decided to speak more.

“What Eiji said. I’ve known you for a long time, and you’re a very loyal person I highly trust and would protect with my life.” 

“Bro, that means a lot.” Shorter sniffled, switching to the next slide. Information on Eiji appeared with splatters of quite juicy pictures. The majority of them are Eiji being too sexy wearing clothes. 

“As you can see here! He’s an adorable Japanese twink. He was a gold medal athletic star, has a nice ass and nice curves. His thighs can crush me; he’s sassy and a little tease. He’s an exotic angel.” Eiji and Ash seemed even more invested. 

The next slide presented the one and only Ash. Pictures that are mainly of Ash showing different emotions the group has never seen before. There was even one of Ash and Shorter sticking their tongue out at the camera. Wholesome.

“Don’t even get me started about my bro! Going to make me act up! Awooga! Dude, you’ve been through so much trauma at such a young age, you’re the strongest person I’ve ever known. You deserve happiness, and the gangs and I would do our all to make you happy, especially Eiji and I. You are kind, smart, loved, appreciated, admired. Dude, you’re fucking awesome, and I love you, bro. You also have a pretty face.” The gangs remember the time they learned about Ash’s childhood with Dino. Years of abuse that shaped their boss into who he is today. He’s strong but also suffering inside, sometimes letting his emotions be public. 

For everything Ash did for them, they’ll hurt a bitch with no hesitation and protect those that make Ash just a smidge bit happy. 

The blonde had curled into himself out of embarrassment. Eiji rubbed his back with a comforting smile; his eyes showing love and comfort. 

“To end it all, I have the muscles, Eiji has the nice curves and ass, and Ash has the pretty face. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.”

“Are you serious?” Ash questioned. Yet, they were unsure if he meant the presentation or something else. His cheeks were still flushed.

“Are you serious that you want to date Eiji and me? I...I’ll like that.” 

“Same, you two are very important to me, and I want our relationship to be more. I feel like your guys’ wife anyway.” Eiji playfully huffed.

“GOD YES, PLEASE! HOLY SHIT, FUCKIN—“

“Then it’s settled, we’re officially a couple.” Ash smiled at a smiling Eiji and a brain dead Shorter. 

~~

Ash and Arthur were duking it out. Knives out in a deathmatch. Shorter, the dumbass, quoted, “Can I have a waffle...can I PUHLEASE have a waffle?” 

Ash slit Arthur’s neck. 

~~

“We’ll go to Japan with you.” Eiji was cutting an apple when Ash stated his comment. He nearly cut himself. Ash laid in the hospital bed; Shorter on the other side of him.

“Y-you mean it?”

“Yeah, I achieved my goal. Dino is dead, Banana Fish is no more, and the gangs are a bit peaceful now. I have one more goal left, and that’s to spend the rest of my life with you two.” The blonde looked up to see Eiji and Shorter in his personal space with wobbly smiles. 

“I would love that. You two would love it. We can start a new life as a family.”

Ash stared ahead, that one word floating in his mind.

“Family, huh? Yeah, I’ll like that. Never leave my side you two.”

“Wouldn’t count on it. We love you too much.” They settled it with a heartwarming kiss and tears of joy. 

Ash couldn’t have been happier than before.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Bruh anyone have any happy suggestions for another fic 🤠


End file.
